How to Say No Without Guilt and Prioritize What Matters Most
How many times have you found yourself saying "yes" when every fiber of your being is screaming "no"? I've been there, believe me. We often get caught in the trap of trying to be everything to everyone, and before we know it, we're drowning in commitments we didn't even want in the first place. Does that sound familiar?
Whether it's that extra volunteer opportunity at school, a last-minute favor for a friend, or taking on more at work (because, hello, mom guilt), the result is usually the same: stress, overwhelm, and feeling completely burned out. If you’re anything like me, you might even feel a little resentful, like you're living someone else's life.
But here’s the thing I’ve learned: Saying "no" isn’t just about drawing a line in the sand – it’s about creating space for what truly matters. It’s about finally living a truly intentional life! And that, my friends, is where the magic really begins.
Ready to Dive in?
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Why Saying No Is Your Superpower for Intentional Living
When you say yes to everything, it's like you're spreading yourself so thin that you barely recognize yourself. It can leave you feeling:
Overwhelmed and stretched way beyond what's healthy
Resentful of all the commitments you didn't actually want
Totally disconnected from your own goals and values
On the flip side, when you learn the art of a graceful "no," you:
Protect your precious time and energy – because girl, you deserve it!
Start aligning your commitments with your actual core values, so you feel more authentic in your choices. (If you're still figuring out what your values are, check out [this episode about core values](insert link to past episode)).
Create room for the things that are actually meaningful to you, the things that light you up inside!
Overcoming Guilt: It's Time to Break Up With People-Pleasing
Okay, let's talk about the elephant in the room – guilt. It's usually the biggest hurdle to saying "no." We worry about disappointing others, being seen as selfish, or just straight-up feeling like a bad mom. But I'm here to tell you that setting boundaries is NOT selfish; it's an act of self-respect! We are not selfish for needing to put our own needs first!
Here’s how I've been working to overcome that guilt:
Reframing: I try to remember that saying "no" to something that doesn't align with my goals is just saying "yes" to what truly matters.
Self-Compassion: I constantly remind myself that my needs are just as important as anyone else's. My well-being is a priority, not a luxury!
Practice: I practice saying "no" often, so it doesn't feel as uncomfortable when I really need to use it. I have go-to phrases ready for when I am put on the spot.
The Hidden Price Tag of Always Saying Yes
When we say "yes" to things that drain our energy and go against our values, we end up paying a pretty hefty hidden price.
Time Drain: Less time for self-care, family, and the things we actually enjoy.
Emotional Exhaustion: More stress, frustration, and a constant feeling of being overwhelmed. If you need a little help with this, you might like this podcast episode all about being less overwhelmed. {You Deserve to Feel Good with Heather Chauvin}
Lost Opportunities: Missing out on chances that truly align with our vision and purpose.
Saying "no" isn't about being rejecting, it is about making choices that help you live your best life!
How to Evaluate Requests Based on Your Core Values
Before you respond to any request, it's time to pause and really think about things, and here are the questions I ask myself:
Does this request align with my values and goals?
Will saying "yes" to this steal time or energy from something more important in my life?
Am I saying "yes" because I truly want to or because I feel obligated?
If you answered "no" to any of these questions, it’s a clear sign that it’s time to politely decline, mama. (Want to dig deeper into discovering your core values? Grab my free Core Values Guide
Scripts for Saying "No" Like a Boss
I know saying "no" can feel really awkward, but having some go-to responses can help make it feel less scary.
Here are a few that I use often:
The Polite Decline: “Thank you so much for thinking of me, but I’m just not able to commit right now.”
The Prioritization Approach: “I have other priorities at the moment, but I appreciate the opportunity.”
The Future Consideration: “I can’t take this on right now, but please keep me in mind for next time.”
Reframe "No" as a Gift to Yourself
Now, it’s time to shift our thinking. Instead of viewing "no" as a negative thing, think of it as a positive way to say "yes" to yourself. When you say no to the things that don’t serve you, you are saying yes to:
More time for YOU.
Your mental and emotional well-being.
Actually achieving your personal goals and dreams.
Ready to Take Action?
If you’re ready to start prioritizing what matters and saying no without guilt, take these next steps:
Practice saying no with confidence in low-pressure situations.
Listen to the full podcast episode for more insights and encouragement.
Next week on the podcast, we’ll be diving into overcoming overwhelm with my signature 5-step framework, so stay tuned!
Saying no is a skill that takes practice, but once you master it, you’ll find yourself feeling more aligned, empowered, and in control of your life. Start small, stay consistent, and give yourself permission to prioritize what truly matters.
AFTER YOU LISTEN:
Get the guide: How ChatGPT Can Help You Discover Your Core Values
Start Living Intentional TODAY!
OTHER EPISODES YOU’LL LOVE:
Episode 175: Daily Reflection For Busy Moms
Episode 111 :You Deserve to Feel Good with Heather Chauvin
Episode 91: 7 Things You Can Do When You’re Having a Really Bad Day
