Episode 174: Why Balance is Overrated: How Moms Can Create Harmony In Their Busy Lives Without The Stress
Let’s talk about balance. If you’re like me—or most moms I know—you’ve probably spent a lot of time trying to figure out how to balance everything in your life. We’re constantly being told to find balance between work, family, self-care, and the million other things on our plate. But here’s the thing: every time I tried to chase balance, I found myself feeling more stressed and overwhelmed.
Balance suggests that everything needs to be equal, all the time, and that’s just not realistic. Trying to be the perfect mom, excel at work, take care of myself, and manage every other responsibility at the same time? It’s exhausting and impossible. That’s why I’m here to tell you that balance is overrated—and what we should be striving for instead is harmony.
In this post, I’m going to break down why the idea of balance doesn’t work for moms (especially us busy millennial moms), what harmony looks like in practice, and how it can transform the way you live your life.
What’s Wrong with the Idea of Balance?
For so long, I believed that finding balance was the key to happiness. If I could just get everything in my life to line up perfectly, then I would feel less overwhelmed. But here’s the thing: balance, by definition, requires everything to be even, equal, and perfectly aligned. And as we all know, life is messy and unpredictable.
Some seasons of life are demanding—work might require more of your time, your kids might need extra attention, or you might need to focus on your own self-care. Trying to keep everything balanced is like juggling with too many balls in the air; at some point, something’s going to drop, and it leaves you feeling like you’re failing.
My Epiphany: Harmony Over Balance
One day, while reflecting on this constant struggle, I started thinking about music. That’s when the lightbulb moment happened. I realized that life doesn’t have to be balanced like scales; instead, it can be more like a piece of music—an orchestra, where different instruments come in at different times, but all work together to create something beautiful.
In an orchestra, not every instrument plays at the same volume or intensity all the time. Sometimes the violins are playing loudly, sometimes the drums are leading, and other times, the flute softly supports in the background. Each part has its time to shine, but no part is devalued just because it’s quieter for a while. It’s all about harmony—everything working together in the right flow.
When I started looking at my life like an orchestra, it was like a weight lifted off my shoulders. I realized I didn’t have to give equal energy to everything at all times. Instead, I could let certain areas of my life take the lead while others quiet down for a bit, knowing that I could come back to them when the time was right.
How to Create Harmony in Your Life
So, how do you actually create harmony in your life, especially as a busy mom juggling work, kids, and everything else? Here are some key takeaways to help you shift from trying to balance everything to finding your own personal rhythm of harmony:
1. Recognize What Needs Your Attention Right Now
Not everything in your life requires the same amount of energy all the time. One of the best ways to create harmony is to regularly check in with yourself and ask, “What deserves my attention right now?” Maybe it’s your family during the summer months, or perhaps your work is demanding more of you during a big project. Give yourself permission to let one part of your life take the lead without feeling like you’re neglecting the rest.
2. Stop Chasing Perfection
Moms, I can’t stress this enough—perfection is a myth, and the idea that we can do it all, perfectly, all the time, is unrealistic. Harmony doesn’t require perfection; it requires flow. Life is full of ebbs and flows, and some days will feel more chaotic than others. Embrace the imperfections and trust that everything will balance out in the long run.
3. Understand Your Priorities
Creating harmony in your life starts with knowing your priorities. What matters most to you right now? What are your core values? When you’re clear on what’s important, it’s easier to let go of the things that aren’t serving you or that are pulling you out of alignment.
For me, this often means letting go of things that seem urgent but aren’t actually important. I’ve learned to say no to commitments that don’t align with my priorities, and it has been a game-changer.
*Need help figuring out what your core values are and creating plan to live in more alignment? Coaching might be for you!
4. Let Go of Guilt
One of the hardest parts of shifting from balance to harmony is letting go of the guilt that comes with not giving everything equal attention. When I focus on work, I used to feel guilty about not spending more time with my kids. And when I spent more time with my family, I’d feel bad about not working. It was a constant cycle of guilt that left me drained.
But once I embraced harmony, I realized it’s okay to let one area play louder for a while. The quieter parts aren’t any less important—they’re just waiting for their turn to come back into the spotlight.
5. Trust the Process
Lastly, trust that harmony is a process. Life will have different seasons, and that’s okay. Some days—or even months—will feel more work-focused, while others will be about reconnecting with family, or focusing on your own self-care. Trust that it all balances out in the long run, and give yourself grace during the times when one area needs more of your attention.
If you’ve been feeling overwhelmed by the constant pressure to balance everything in your life, I want you to know that you’re not alone. But I also want to encourage you to let go of that pressure. Instead of striving for balance, try embracing the idea of harmony. Let your life flow like a beautiful piece of music, where different parts play louder at different times, but everything works together to create something beautiful.
You don’t need to do it all, all the time. Focus on what matters most in each moment, let go of the guilt, and trust that you’re exactly where you need to be.
If this message resonated with you, I’d love to hear from you! Let me know how you’re creating harmony in your life by leaving a comment below or tagging me on Instagram @positively.jessie. And if you’re looking for more tips and inspiration on how to create a life you love, be sure to check out The Positively You Podcast for more episodes like this.
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