Episode 018: How to Create Habits That Stick and Accomplish Your Goals
Today’s episode is all about creating habit and accomplishing goals. But before I get into the episode I wanna put a big fat disclaimer or just an FYI at the beginning.
You know those people who just seem to have it all together. Those type A, super organized, on top of everything, put together go getter constantly achieving things kind of people.
I am not one of them.
I am very type not A. I’m not crazy motivated or naturally disciplined. In fact I would say that procrastination is a trait I was born with, and I can make up excuses like it’s my job. I just want you to know that if it seems like I’ve got my ish together, most the time I don’t and if I do, it’s cause I’ve worked really hard to get to that point.
I also want you to know that I came to these points and created this method for myself after failing a WHOLE LOTTA TIMES. I fail WAAAAAY more than I succeed. But I try to learn something from those failures and turn them into something that can work for me. So there’s the disclaimer. Okay- let’s get into it.
It’s the new year ( hashtag duh) So Everyone and their dog is talking about setting goals or creating new healthy habits and what I wanna talk about the way we set goals and how we can put ourselves in the best position possible to achieve them.
And like I said, as someone who has learned this lesson through years and years of failure and learning what NOT TO DO, I’ve figured out where I went wrong and how to fill in the gaps so that I could actually stick to the new habits and check off the goals.
From learning from the failures and the successes I came this 5 step method to creating habits and accomplishing goals.
Most new years resolutions or goals or new habits might sound a lot like this:
Journal more
Meditate more
Drink more water
Exercise more
More self care time
Eat more veggies
Read more
On and on….. Those are all great goals that I think could add tons of value to your life, but they are lacking. This is just scratching the surface. This is like a good brain dump or starting point.
This is the WHAT part of the goal- and where most of us ( and me- hi I have my hand raised super high into the air) stop. You say- “I want to read more books” and then just kind of cross your fingers and hope for the best. With this way of doing things- I successfully read 4 books in one year.
Go Me.
In order for me to take this goal and really run with it and to be successful I needed to go deeper. So let’s go deeper.
If you’ve been brainstorming a bunch of goals, or have some new habits you want to start or resolutions or whatever, pick one or two and let’s dive into them.
We’ve got the WHAT.
Maybe it’s to read more. Maybe it’s to workout more. Maybe it’s to be more present with your kids….. Whatever it is now is the time to ask yourself WHY.
Why do you want to read more? Why do you want to change your eating habits? Why do you feel like your relationship with your kids needs to change? This is a great time to journal, to meditate, to really think and get real about the WHY behind the WHAT. Without a strong why- it’s easy to let things come up or get in the way- but once you understand the deeper why of a goal- it suddenly has so much more power and meaning. Your goal now has some meaning and emotion attached to it. Keep asking why until you get to an answer that feel complete to you and is a good anchor.
Okay- so you kind of get the point of figuring out the why behind a goal. So at this point you’ve got the WHAT and you’ve got the WHY, But we aren’t done yet- now you gotta put some plans in place for how in the heck this goal is gonna earn it’s check mark.
The HOW. It’s crazy to me how many times I set goals and skipped this part. I mean, I basically was just wishing for things and not really making any goals without doing the HOW. Like oh, I need to be more productive this year- but then NEVER came up with a game plan! Like NO FREAKING WONDER why i spun my wheels, doing the exact same things over and over again and always starting over on Monday. UGH! Or even Take this podcast for example. I had the idea of doing a podcast for a good 2 YEARS before it actually happened. That’s because all I had was the WHAT, eventually I got the WHY...but then stopped there. It didn’t take on a life until I created the HOW. Once that was in place- this show just came alive. I wish I could go back and shake silly past Jessie and knock some sense into her. Okay, I don’t because life is a learning process and you just do your best and when you know better you do better…… sorry...side tangent. Back to the HOW:
If your goal is to read more: and you’ve figured out the WHY behind it- let’s keep going and figure out the how. Since this is actually one of my goals for the year, let’s just break this one down. Here’s some of my why’s: Because I love reading and I miss it. I used to read sooo much as a kid and I loved getting completely lost in a book. I miss that. Because I feel good when I read and finish a book. I love talking about the books I’m reading with friends and with Conor on our walks. I want to keep expanding my influences. And more….. For the HOW: I love audio books and that’s how I do most my reading these days. But I also loved reading a physical book. So for my how- I will listen to an audio book everyday while I do my makeup. I will read a physical book (or on my nook) before getting into bed.
Okay- step 4 is the WHO. We all know that A goal is so much easier to accomplish when your dignity is on the line. What I mean is, when you tell someone about your goal it helps you stay accountable. So whether that’s a spouse, a friend, the whole freaking internet…..get someone to hold you accountable.
This is the very method I used when I first embarked on my 365 days of making my bed goal that I started 3 years ago. The what was: Making my bed everyday. The WHY was because I wanted to be the kind of person who started their morning off with a win. I wanted to bed and room to reflect my life. Put together, not chaos. More on the why….The HOW was first thing in the morning I made my bed. No excuses. The WHO: I made myself accountable by declaring it to the internet. Also, my dear sweet husband, who threatened to start a “negatively jessie IG account and air my dirty laundry…..just kidding- but he did tease me about it.
And you might think we are done- but there is a final step- and that is the WHEN. And the when is a two part. When will I complete this by or a deadline….. and also when will I be putting in the time and effort into achieving this goal.
For my example of reading more: The when was: I will listen while I get ready and read before bed. But the When also had a deadline. I will read 24 books by the end of the year. Having a deadline or a countdown is another great way to stay accountable and keep a fire lit under your butt. Sometimes a year deadline can be too long- so a lot of times I’ll break it down into quarters or months, just depending on the goal. So 24 books a year becomes 2 books a month or 6 books a quarter.
Okay so there it is- 5 steps to creating healthy habits and accomplishing your goals. To recap they are:
WHAT. What is the goal or habit you want to start?
WHY.What is the feeling or emotions? What is driving you deep down to want to make this change?
HOW are you going to accomplish it? What plans do you need to make, what steps are necessary?
WHO are you accountable to? Make your goals and habits known to other people.
WHEN. What is your deadline? When will you work on this new habit or goal?
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