155. Mastering Mom Emotions: Practical Steps for Regulating Yourself and Helping Kids Navigate Big Feelings with Missy Allred
Ever find yourself at losing it and yelling at your kids over something that's not even a big deal? We've all been there- feeling burned out, stressed, stretched way too thin and then we just snap.
Not today!
In this episode I am joined by Missy Allred to talk about the transformative power of mindset and emotional regulation. From understanding the basics of our nervous system to practical strategies for finding calm in the heat of the moment, this episode is PACKED with actionable insights for moms navigating the beautiful chaos of parenthood.
MEET MISSY ALLRED:
I'm thrilled to introduce Missy Allred, a dedicated mom of three little ones, each four years old and under. Missy's journey has led her to a profound understanding of the toddler years and the chaos they can bring. She's passionate about helping moms not only survive but thrive in this season of life by embracing the power of regulation. Through her work, Missy empowers moms to find calm amidst the storm and guide their children toward emotional resilience.
Understanding Your Nervous System
So, let's break it down. Missy really lays out how our nervous system is like the ultimate messenger between our brain and body, processing all the stimuli bombarding us day in and day out. It's this filter that's constantly scanning for safety, deciding what's a green light and what's a red flag. But, here's the kicker: in today's fast-paced world, that filter can get seriously overwhelmed, leaving us stuck in this perpetual fight-or-flight mode that's basically the opposite of chill. We aren’t constantly being chased by a bear- but sometimes it sure does feel that way to our brains.
Practical Strategies for Emotional Well Being
Now, onto the good stuff. Missy's got some seriously game-changing tips for getting out of that stress cycle. It's all about emotional regulation, my friends. By mastering these techniques to regulate our nervous system, we're basically flipping the script from reacting to life's curveballs to taking intentional, purposeful steps forward. Missy also stresses how important it is to pair these regulation techniques with some serious mindset work. Put the two together and it's a serious power combo, boosting our personal growth and resilience to whole new levels.
Pre-decision-making: Take charge by planning your responses to stressful situations beforehand. This empowers you to navigate challenging moments with grace and intention.
Commit to specific actions: During moments of calm, make a commitment to specific actions that you'll take when faced with stress or adversity. This helps you access predetermined responses when you're in the heat of the moment.
Repair relationships: Foster connection and resilience by offering sincere apologies and engaging in open communication. Repairing relationships after emotional outbursts promotes healing and strengthens bonds.
Combine regulation techniques with mindset work: Pairing regulation techniques, such as deep breathing or mindfulness, with positive affirmations and mindset shifts creates a powerful synergy for emotional well-being and personal growth.
Shifting Your Mindset for Positive Self-Perception
Our perception of ourselves really sets the tone for how we experience emotions and react in different situations. It's like laying down the groundwork for how we navigate life's twists and turns. What I found super interesting from my chat with Missy is how choosing to see ourselves in a positive light, almost like wearing affirmations as our armor, can really make a difference. It's about embracing those affirming self-images, you know, like picturing ourselves as the calm, patient moms we aspire to be, and then actively reinforcing those identities through positive affirmations. And here's the kicker: recognizing that the occasional meltdown doesn't define us; it's just a blip on the radar of our overall journey. That self-compassion? It's where the real growth happens.
Prioritizing Self-Regulation with Timers and Alarms
Missy shares practical techniques for regulating the nervous system, both in everyday life and during moments of heightened stress. By incorporating these strategies into daily routines, moms can cultivate a sense of calm and model healthy coping mechanisms for their children.
Set Reminders: Setting reminders or alarms on your phone throughout the day helps moms prioritize self-regulation practices. Have a “check in with yourself” alarm go off every few hours to take time to breathe, reset, and look inward about how you’re feeling.
Use calming techniques: like square breathing which fosters emotional balance and well-being. Breathe in for four counts, hold for four, breathe out for four, hold for four. Rinse and Repeat. (For more on the power of your breath and some really amazing breathing techniques, check out Episode 136 with Crystal Zinn.
Power of consistency: Small, consistent efforts contribute to significant progress in emotional mastery.
Cultivating Self-Compassion and Repairing Relationships
One thing I really took away from our conversation with Missy is the importance of differentiating between identity and moments. It's so easy to let those heated moments define us, but they're just that—moments. They don't encapsulate who we are as individuals or as moms. Understanding that allows us to cultivate self-compassion and resilience, recognizing that mistakes happen and they don't make us any less of the amazing moms we strive to be.
And let's talk about repairing relationships. It's not just about saying sorry; it's about showing our kids what it means to take responsibility and make amends. When we apologize and repair the bond after emotional outbursts, we're not just patching things up; we're strengthening trust and connection with our children. It's a powerful lesson in empathy, forgiveness, and the importance of emotional regulation that they'll carry with them throughout their lives.
Power of Community
And let's not forget the power of community. Surrounding ourselves with other moms who understand the struggles and joys of parenting can make a world of difference. Whether it's joining online forums, participating in local parenting groups, or simply meeting up with friends who are also moms, having that support network can provide encouragement, accountability, and a wealth of resources. It's like having a tribe to lean on during both the good and the challenging
As moms, our emotional well-being directly impacts the atmosphere of our homes and the relationships we share with our children.
By embracing practical strategies for regulating our emotions and supporting our kids through theirs, we can create a nurturing environment where everyone feels seen, heard, and valued. Let's embark on this journey together, one mindful moment at a time.
~~ NEXT STEPS ~~
Speaking of community: Join The Positively You Personal Growth Book Club- it’s completely free! You’ll grow, connect, make new friends, gain new insights and perspective and so much more!
Connect with me on Instagram- it’s where all the fun really is and I LOVE chatting with you over there.
Connect with our guest from today: Missy Allred
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(Thanks in Advance!)
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Ep 111: You Deserve to Feel Good with Heather Chauvin