Episode 107: Creating Guilt Free Self Care Habits with Emily Nichols
Description: Emily Nichols is the host ofSelf Transformed - a podcast redefining self care through simple fitness, nutrition & mindset habit hacks for busy working moms. From her own struggles, as busy working mom, Emily finally found the solutions to feel empowered, confident, & how to live a healthy lifestyle that doesn’t feel hard or like another thing on your to do list through proven habit strategies.
In this episode:
1:41 What Does It Mean To Be Self Transformed?
3:21 The Snowball Effect of Change
8:31 Habit Hacks and the T.A.C.O. Method
14:19 Reestablishing Habits and Being Okay Starting Back Over
17:00 Guilt Free Self Care
20:05 What is Self Care, Really?
What Does It Mean To Be Self Transformed?
Everyone’s definition is going to be different. But for Emily Nichols, the host of the Self Transformed Podcast, it means equipping yourself with the tools in order to continually transform. In regards to our health, a lot of times we aren't taking care of ourselves throughout life, we're always in a state of change or a different season of life coming and going and change happening, and sometimes that's really uncomfortable.
But the whole point of being self transformed is to equip you with your own transformation tools, your own habit hacks to help you continually take care of yourself no matter what season you are in your life, and continually be self transforming and being okay with that.
The Snowball Effect of Change
Back in 2015, Emily found herself in a rut. She was feeling like she wasn’t a very present or patient mom and she describes her house as very tense. Emily knew something had to give and started with changing some eating habits. As she started to feel better, that little changed sparked a snowball effect and she began looking for more things she could slowly change and continue to feel better.
Habit Hacks and the T.A.C.O. Method
When you think of habit hacks and habit strategy you think of it in three steps. The first is the cue or the trigger. Then we have the routine or the habit, and then we have the reward. So cue, routine, reward. We have so many habits we are already doing that follows this formula that we do without even thinking about it. When making new habits you have to be a lot more intentional about the cue, routine, reward.
And here’s where TACO comes in. TACO is an acronym to help you when making new habits. T is for Transform Your Thoughts, A stands for Action, C stands for Consistency, and O stands for Overcoming Challenges.
I love this acronym because it’s simple, but packs a punch. Any time you ever want to change you must first start with your thoughts, then creating an action plan or a new habit to implement, the C is probably the most important and the most overlooked in my opinion. You have to give yourself enough time and consistency to actually see the changes and results! And then of course the O. Life isn’t always going to be smooth and going according to your perfect little plan, so being able to face those challenge, learn to readjust and pivot as needing is crucial.
Reestablishing Habits and Being Okay Starting Back Over
Sometimes we need a total reset. We’ve all had things that have happened that land us on the Hot Mess Express. The problem is when we get stuck and we stay on the Hot Mess Express. There is nothing wrong with having to start over. And in fact you are never really starting over from scratch. You have a new starting point. You have tools, strategy, and experience now and can use those things to your advantage. We have to change the story around starting over. It’s not a bad thing!
Guilt Free Self Care
For whatever reason, we have the hardest time making time for self care. We have this guilt creeping in that tells us that we should be somewhere else, doing something else. But the truth is, we show up better in our lives when we do take time to care for ourselves. We need to ditch the guilt. The quickest way to do that is to get out of your head.
Ask yourself is this true? Is it true that I am a bad person for taking time for myself? Is it true that my kids are going to be upset with me for going out with friends, etc.
Talk it out with a trusted friend. One who's maybe in similar shoes as you and be like, “You know, I'm feeling really guilty. About doing this or that.” Your friend is going to lift you up and be like, “Girl! don't feel guilty. You're doing great.” Just like how you would do for them.
Ask your spouse or kids about it. This one's probably the hardest one. To actually ask like your partner or kid does it make you mad, sad, angry, or whatever if I need to go do this or that for myself? In most cases they're gonna be like, No, I don't care. And if they do care, this is a great chance to talk about it, to find out their concerns and have a discussion about why self care is important not just for you, but for each member of your family.
What is Self Care, Really?
Self care is really personal to you. I think it's a buzzword. I feel like if you were to like look up the hashtag like self-care Sunday or something on Instagram, you'd see people doing like bubble baths or like painting their nails or something.
And I think all that is fabulous. Like give me more of that. However, I feel like Selfcare in itself is actually a lot harder. It's not the indulgent things. It is that every little tiny task or habit you do to help take care of yourself, and that looks different for everybody. It could be, you know, going outside for a walk. It could be turning off all the notifications on your phone, it could be setting some boundaries and saying, No, I don't need to go do this. Or instead of having FOMO, having JOMO, like having the joy of missing out of things sometimes , which I'm finding more and more feels like really great to be like, Oh I'm not gonna do that right now.
And it's finding the things that feel really good. Tuning in and making time for something that lights you up.
I loved this conversation with Emily. I think there is so much untapped power in creating habits for our self care and doing it guilt free. If you loved this episode, I would love to know. You can connect with me through IG or by leaving a 5 star review on Apple Podcasts.
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