Episode 26: 5 Things You Can Do To Have a Better Relationship with Food
Today I’m diving into the world of nutrition and food and diets and diet culture and all the things that encompass our relationship with food. I found out that March is National Nutrition Month so I figured that this would be the perfect opportunity to get some things off my chest about this whole thing.
I have a lot of thoughts around nutrition and the role it plays in our lives. I am just like anyone else and have had an up and down relationship with food. At times I’ve felt super content and at peace. Other times the relationship has felt incredibly toxic. From dealing with bingeing and emotional eating, dieting hopping, trying weird cleanses…..and just having a guilty feeling about the whole thing.
Over the past three years I’ve worked really really hard to get myself to a healthy place with food and nutrition. And in that process I’ve discovered that there isn’t an end point. That it’s something that I always have to keep working on. But it doesn’t have to be “work”. It doesn’t have to be hard or feel overwhelming. I've learned that so much of my relationship with food and understanding nutrition and starts with my mindset. But before I get to that- I need to step on my soapbox for a quick second.
The soapbox is diets. Ugh. I hate diets. I don’t like to use the word hate a lot- but I’m really really not a fan. A big reason why I’m not a fan is because of the mindset that a diet almost immediately puts you in. Spoiler alert: It’s not an empowering one.
Think about it, most diets have all sorts of rules and restrictions, and they are ridden with shame and guilt trips….even if you ever to get to “go off plan” it’s called a CHEAT! And cheating doesn’t exactly give me all the empowering vibes. So, yeah, to put it simply….I’m not really a huge fan.
When you think about a diet, one of the first things that comes to mind is “what is off limits.” “What are the rules” “What can’t I have” Right off the bat your mind is jumping to to restriction. To a mindset of taking away. And here’s the thing- we humans- we don’t like to feel deprived. We don’t like to feel like we are missing out. Ever heard of FOMO? Yeah, it’s a real thing. And restriction diets do just that. They put you in a place of missing out. Diets totally hijack your mindset and I’m so not cool with you having a limiting, restricting mindset.
What I am cool with- is you empowering yourself with a kickass positive mindset. So let’s start there.
Number 1: Shift Your Mindset. When it comes to nutrition we are surrounded with non helpful, limiting, thoughts. Eating healthy is expensive. Food prepping takes too much time. I don’t like healthy foods……and yeah, if you are thinking those thoughts then for sure it’s gonna be hard to feel jazzed and excited about nutrition. But if you shift to a can do, positive attitude it makes all the difference. Instead of being a problem finder (ie: pointing out all the hard things or obstacles in your way) shift to being a problem solver. If your obstacle is that eating healthy is too expensive- get creative to solve the problem. Also-side tangent: it’s not. You and your body are worthy of good food. Don’t believe the freaking lie that you are only worthy of “cheap” food. Okay side rant done. Back to problem solving. Instead of pointing out the problem of “ I don’t have time to eat healthy.” again come to the table with a problem solver mentality. If you don’t have time, what can you do to have quick healthy options available. You could meal prep, or just have fruits ready to go. You could research the best options at your favorite fast food places so that when you are in a bind you are still able to make an empowering choice..
Your mindset will either hold you back, or propel you forward. The choice is yours. Okay so Mindset was tip number one. Moving on to step number 2 to have a better relationship with food:
Number 2: Choose empowering words and phrasing. This goes along with shifting your mindset. But reframing or even just rewording things can go a long way in healing a bad relationship with food. Instead of saying “ I can’t have___fill in the blank” change that phrasing to “ I am choosing to have ____” a simple example of this is “I can’t have a diet coke”. Change that to “I’ll have an ice water please! And could I have a lemon too, Thank you!” See the difference? Feel the difference? Your words have power. Use them to help you and raise your energy and vibe.
Number 3: Think Addition instead of Subtraction. What do I mean by this? Instead of the typical diet way of thinking, where you are eliminating and restricting the “bad” foods. Try instead to think about what healthy and helpful foods you can add. An example might be this: Instead of me saying Im going to limit all my carbs and not eat any bread or rice or pasta or pizza……. I could instead choose to focus on eating more protein. That way when I’m out to eat with friends I’m not focused on the menu looking at all the things I can’t have- but I’m feeling good with my choice to add things that I know will help me feel my best. This way- I could still totally have the chicken and pasta, but maybe I would ask for extra chicken. When you’re not eliminating things you don’t have to feel deprived. When you focus on finding ways to add more- you end up feeling in control, empowered, creative, and awesome.
Another good example could be related to sugar or treats. I hear all time time about quitting sugar or going treat free for x amount of days. That feels like a punishment. And punishments aren’t fun. Instead choose to focus on something else that could benefit you. I can’t have treats gets replaced with - what veggies can I add in today?
Addition is so much for fun that subtraction.
My number 4 tip to creating a better relationship with food is to START SMALL! There is no need to try to completely overhaul everything all at once. We tend to do this. Especially when you hear things like it’s national nutrition month. That can feel like the perfect call to finally do it. This is when I commit and you really do want to make a change- but with any habit- when you go to big to fast or try to change too many things at once, it’s easy to burnout quick. Pick ONE thing. That one thing could be to increase your water intake. Or it could be to have a vegetable option at each dinner. You one thing might be to eat a fruit every day. Seriously- start small. Make it easy to accomplish and check off that goal. Then build from there.
I remember times in the past of wanting to eat healthier or starting another ahem, diet….and needing to make a huge grocery store run before. I needed to buy special almond flour and sugar free syrups. I had completely planned out breakfast, lunch, dinner and there was no deviating. While I do think that there are circumstances and a time and a place for really dialing in an getting strict, it’s certainly not when you are wanting to make positive lasting changes and get into a better relationship with food. So throw out the need to overhaul and just stick to one thing to start out with.
Number 5: Replace Guilt with Grace. Oh the guilt. Oh the shame. Oh the I messed up and ate an entire pizza all by myself so now I need to sit in a self hate pity party, and run 8000 miles on the treadmill and eat only kale and egg whites for the next five meals.
Guilt comes from thinking we ate something bad vs something good. But who’s to say what’s good or bad. FOOD IS FOOD! Let’s stop labeling it with some bogus moral standard of good and bad. When we label foods we put more focus on them- almost like putting them up on a pedestal. When we get rid of the labels and the rules- The food no longer has any power over us and the guilt and shame cycle can finally stop.
But, we’ve been so programmed over the years that this can be a hard thought to kick. But here’s a way to help. When you do eat what you think is a “bad” food- check in with yourself. Why did you eat it? How are you feeling? How are you feeling Emotionally? How are you feeling Physically? Notice the situation or the environment you are in. Really get curious and compassionate before you jump straight to guilt. Allow yourself the space to explore your feelings and recognize that they’re there, and remind yourself that food guilt doesn’t support your wellbeing and you can’t shame yourself into becoming a better version of yourself.
Swap guilt for grace and you’ll be sitting pretty my friend.
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