Episode 24: Want to Change Your Life? Start Small!
When you are wanting to make a positive change in your life or when you want to create a new habit it’s super easy to get caught up in the “all or nothing” mindset. You know what I’m talking about. Phrases like “ Go big or go home” or “No Excuses” “Failure isn’t an option”- stuff like that and it fills your mind with this insane expectation that you have to be 100% perfect in order to achieve success.
And that is bull crap.
It might seem counter intuitive to start super small, when you are wanting to make some massive changes- but that’s exactly what you should do. Because otherwise, you get overwhelmed, and at the first obstacle or failure you A. throw in the towel and B. feel terrible about yourself and further prove that you “just can’t do it” or “this is just who I am”
When we try to change too much too quickly, it’s honestly a recipe for disaster. I remember years ago signing up for a 6 week complete body makeover bootcamp. I had just had my second kid and I was DYING to get back into shape, and ditch the “mom bod” I cannot stand that messaging now- but that is a soapbox for another day. Anyway, I remember showing up that first day and it was freaking BALLS TO THE WALL.. It was intense and I’m pretty sure the trainers goal was to make everyone puke.
Which I wanted, that would make me feel like I was putting in the work, giving it my all, I was going so hard that there was no way I could fail.
Until the next morning when my muscles were so sore, that I could barely walk and the thought of doing another burpee, and wanting to puke, left me looking for excuses to not show up.
Not exactly a good way to start- but this is what SO MANY OF US DO! And then when I failed, I felt like crap. I was even farther away from my goal than I originally thought. Which then meant I was just going to have to work EVEN harder, restrict even more, and just push, push, push myself. It felt like a punishment.
I’m so happy that I have since ditched that mentality. While yes it can seem heroic or badass or whatever to “leave it all on the floor” and “go big or go home”, I do believe there is a place for that. I mean I’ve competed multiple times in powerlifting where the goal is quite literally to give it your all and leave it all on the floor if you are going for a record or a PR or something…..but when you are just starting out……you gotta start small. …..and then go even smaller than what you originally thought.
I know I ALWAYS go back to this-and you are going to get sick of me saying it, but it’s why I start with making my bed everyday. And why I drive that point home to you so often. When I started that habit I had three super young kids. My house was always messy- normal messes that you have with kids, clutter, toys, laundry piles….and I felt overwhelmed by trying to keep it all done. I felt defeated by Pinterest cleaning schedules and when I could only follow one through Tuesday it left me feeling like a piece of crap who just wasn’t cut out for homemaking. So instead of feeling like I needed to tackle the entire house every single day and make sure it was spotless before dinner time when Conor got home, I decided that I would do ONE thing. Everyday I would make my bed. That was my only goal. Anything else was just a bonus- but the bed was the goal, the expectation, the non-negotiable.
That’s where you need to start. With one small goal. One single expectation that you can reasonably accomplish every single day. Then anything else is just a bonus that you can feel good about.
A little bit ago I was talking with my mom and our conversation turned to her wanting to feel better and be healthier. Like most people, she felt overwhelmed over everything she needed to do. Completely overhaul the way she was eating. Cut out all junk food, get better at planning meals, do a workout every single day….. and in our conversation I could hear her start to spiral and feel overwhelmed. So I said,
“Can you sit in a chair and stand back up 5 times? “
“Yes….”
“Can you repeat that 5 times?”
“Yes….”
“Okay. That is all I want you to do. Every single day this week. Pick a time and squat down to a chair and stand up 5x5.”
Then she said, okay and then I can do…..and I stopped her and I told her that sure, you can do extra if you want, if you feel good, have time….But your GOAL is every day I am going to squat to a chair 5 times.
For a minute I think she was insulted that I thought that was all she could do. But what I really wanted, was to give her consistency. With something so simple it’s completely reasonable that she could do this everyday. No matter what. Which is going to give her a quick win. Something that you can be proud of yourself for. And when you can get yourself into that positive mindset. Of accomplishing a task, and proving to yourself that you can be consistent…..it’s easy to add on from there. The next week you might add in some pushups, or lunges. And stick to that for a bit until it becomes so natural and easy that it’s just a part of the flow of your day. The goal is to make it as simple and as easy as you can.
Another goal might be related to reading (# of books per year) instead of that being your goal- you can change it to. I will read for 10 minutes before lunch each day or I listen to an audio book while I do my makeup.
Or your goal could be related to nutrition or hydration. Instead of starting with “I’m going to drink 1 gallon of water every day” start smaller with, every morning I will drink one full glass of water. Then add it to with each meal, I drink water…..see how making it smaller makes it easier to track, and easier to be successful at. Which fuels you to continue.
So today, I want you to narrow down what you want to change or accomplish. Get it super small. Make it the easiest, most simplest version of your goal. Stick to that for a full week before making changes or adding on to it.
I want to cheer you on, so I would love to invite you to join my brand new Facebook Community- The Positively You Podcast Community. Come on in, and you can share your goal, how you are starting small, get support and support others, create friendships, and enjoy being part of a community all working towards becoming the best versions of ourselves.
Thanks for tuning in today and I can’t wait to see you in there!
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